Nine days to the one year mark…

Dear I don’t know what to call you anymore,

It is nine days to the one year mark since we’ve broken up.  Time seems to be moving like molasses while the world is spinning so fast by me.  I’m trying to keep up, to better myself, to keep going…Memories eat me alive everyday.  I think about Saturday morning breakfasts and the way your eyes lit up whenever I would see you.  Everyone is in their own world…its funny how people are oblivious to other peoples’ pain.  It is probably too much for anyone to bear for everyone has a sob story of their own.  I’m surprised we still talk, meet for “coffee” and to “catch up”.  Whatever you want to call it, I know its comfort you’re seeking.  I know you’re waiting for me to say the magic words, to get my life together so it’ll be enough for you.  The way we look at each other kills me.  The fact that I can’t say I love you.  I don’t know what is stopping me.  Why can’t we just call it what it really is.  Why can’t you just touch me the way you want to or tell me what you really are thinking.  I feel like I’ve accomplished so much since then but none that would make you proud enough.  I haven’t been counting, but after our would have been anniversary, I realized that it hasn’t been one year since we parted ways.  I don’t know how to tell you I love you but I feel like a ticking time bomb.